Doli Aur Arthi

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Abde Mustafa Organisation has been working since 2014 with the aim to propagate the Quran and Sunnah through digital and print media.

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• E Nikah Matrimony Service This is a Matrimonial service that specifically caters to the Ahle Sunnat community. Through this service, marriages of Sunni individuals are arranged with other Sunni individuals. This service is facilitating Sunnis in finding suitable matches easily. www.enikah.in

• Nikah Again Service This service has been initiated to promote polygamy (multiple marriages).

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Kalimaate Aaghaz

Ye risala khaas mayke waalo (yaani ladki ke ghar waalo) ke liye likha gaya hai, Main dawat deta hoon ke har koi ise ek baar zaroor padhe, Is mein maine bahut zaroori baato ko bayaan kiya hai jin par sab ko ghaur karna chahiye

Is ko likhne ka sabab kai logon ki farmaishein hai jo mujhse ki gai, Main ek service chalata hoon jis ke zariye nikah ke liye rishte talash kiye jaate hain, Hazaaro log mere paas aate hain jinhein nikah ke liye rishte ki talash hoti hai, pichhle teen saalo mein maine hazaaro logon ki pasand, unke mutalbaat aur nazariye ko bahut qareeb se dekha hai ke wo Nikah ke baare mein kaisi soch rakhte hain, Iske ilawa shadi shuda logon ki zindagiyo par bhi nazar daudai aur aaj se le kar hazaar saal se pehle tak ki tarikh mein hone waale kai waqiyaat par ghaur kiya to mujh par in muamlaat ke talluq se kai baatein waazeh hui jinki raushni mein ye sab likhne ki koshish kar raha hoon

Mayke waale kai aisi baato mein mubtala hain jinki wajah se miyan biwi ke darmiyan talluqaat bahut zyada bigad jaate hain aur naubat wahan tak pahunch jaati hai ke jahan ja kar dono ko ek dusre se alag hona padta hai, Ye bahut takleef dene waala marhala hai jise talaq kehte hain, hum jiske behad qareeb ho chuke hote hain use khud se humesha ke liye door karna padta hai aur rishta tod dena padta hai

Main chahta hoon ke aisa kisi ke saath na ho lihaza kuchh baato ki nishandehi ki hai taaki log in baato ko jaan lein aur inko khud se door karein, kya pata kisi ek ka bhi ghar ujadne se bach jaaye, bas isi ummeed pe darde dil bayaan kar raha hoon

Abde Mustafa
Muhammad Sabir Qadri
Founder of E Nikah Matrimony Service (www.enikah.in)
Powered by Abde Mustafa Organisation
August 2, 2023

Doli uthi ab arthi hi uthegi

"Doli uthi hai ab arthi hi uthegi" Ye ek mash'hoor jumla hai jo maine kai baar suna hai, Ye kehne waale wo log the jinka zamana ab purana zamana kehlata hai yaani humse do teen nasl pehle waale logon ka zamana, Maine is tarah ki kai baatein suni hain aur kehne waalo se samajh kar yaad bhi ki hain

Is jumle ka ye matlab bataya jaata hai ke ek baar jis ladki ki doli uth gai yaani wo apne mayke se sasuraal chali gai to ab uski arthi hi wahan se uthegi, Iska ye matlab nahin hai ke wo apne mayke kabhi aana jaana nahin kar sakti balki ye matlab hai ke wo apne shauhar aur sasuraal ko chhod kar aur unse rishta tod kar mayke nahin aa sakti balki use wahin rehna hai, ab chahe jaise bhi halaat ho lekin ab wo uska apna ghar hai aur mayke waale paraye hain

Ye bhi kaha jaata hai ke ye jumla hindu dharm ke manne waalo ne nikala aur iska matlab wahi liya jaata tha jo humne bayaan kiya aur pehle logon ki aisi hi soch thi, Jinhone ye jumla nahin bhi suna wo bhi isse milti julti soch hi rakhte the

Main is jumle ke matlab par baat karna chahta hoon, Ye jumla agarche mukammal taur par sahih nahin hai lekin kaafi hadd tak sahih hai aur isse jo paigham milta hai wo bhi muashre ke liye bahut fayedemand hai, Aaiye main dono pahluo ko aapke saamne rakhta hoon ke ye kitna sahih hai

aur kitna ghalat

Kitna sahih aur kitna ghalat

Agar is jumle ka ye matlab nikala jaaye ke ladki ke sasuraal jaane ke baad us par chahe jitna bhi zulm kiya jaaye, use wahin chhod diya jaaye aur talaq ki koi soorat baaqi na rakhi jaaye to ye durust nahin hoga kyunki ye bhi ek haqeeqat hai ke kai muamlaat aise hote hain ke jahan talaq zaroori hoti hai lihaza agar ye kaha jaaye ke talaq ya alag hone ki kisi haalat mein koi soorat nahin hai aur rasta hai to bas yahi ke "ab arthi uthegi" to ye bilkul ghalat hai

Lekin iska ek wo matlab hai jo mujhe samajh aaya aur usi ko main muashre ke liye fayedemand bata raha hoon aur wo ye hai ke ladki ke sasuraal jaane se pehle aur baad mein bhi use ye zehan diya jaaye ke wo sasuraal tumhara apna ghar hai aur wahan ke log tumhare apne aur phir gharelu masail bhi tumhare hi hain lihaza sabr karna aur apni lagan aur mehnat se us ghar ko sanwarne ki poori koshish karna aur zindagi mein masail to pesh aayenge hi lekin iska ye matlab nahin ke tum mayke chali aao, Ab tumhein wahin rehna hai aur humse zyada haq ab tum par kisi aur ka hai to chahe mushkil halaat ho'n sabr karna aur jaan lo ke tumhein is tarah rishta nibhana hai ke tumhari arthi hi uthe

Pehle ke mayke waale

Ab apni baat ko mazeed waazeh karne ke liye main aapke
saamne do waqiyaat rakhta hoon jo bilkul sachhe hain,
Inhein padh kar maloom hoga ke pehle mayke waale kaise
hote the aur ab mayke waale kaunsi badi ghalatiya kar rahe
hain

Pehla waqiya:

Ek ladki ki shadi hui aur phir sasuraal mein thode gharelu masail hone lage, Shauhar apni biwi se pyaar karta tha jaisa ke sab hi karte hain, Ye alag si baat hai ke kabhi kabhi sakhti bhi dikhani padti hai lekin shauhar fitri taur par apni biwi se bahut pyaar karne waale hote hain Jab masail thode badhne lage aur kai qism ke masail ne unhein gher liya to us ladki ne ghar se qadam baahar nikaal diya aur apne mayke wapas aa gai Us ladki par sasuraal mein koi zulm nahin ho raha tha balki sabhi masail ka shikaar the jiski wajah se pareshaniya ho rahi thi lekin ye sab waqti taur par tha, Bil aakhir masail to hal hone hi the aur ek waqt aaram aur sukoon ka aana hi tha lekin jaldbazi mein insan nuqsan uthata hai aur sabr kare to faaide paata hai

Mayke waalo ne ladki ki na suni aur wo samajh gaye ke ye masail aaj nahin to kal hal ho jayenge aur khushiyo ke din aayenge lekin ladki ne jaldbazi mein ye kaam kiya hai lihaza

use wapas sasuraal chhod kar aaye aur sabke saamne ye bhi keh diya ke ye tumhara ghar hai aur ab tumhein yahin rehna hai, Itna keh kar aur samjha kar wo chale gaye Phir wahi hua ke masail kam hote gaye, Aasaniyo waale din aa gaye, Gham aur takleefein gai aur khushiyo ki bahaar lehlahane lagi aur aaj us ghar mein unke kai bachhe hain jin mein se do ladko ki shadi bhi chuki hai aur ek achha pariwaar hai

Ab yahan ghaur karein ke agar mayke waale apni ladki ka aaram dekhte to use apne paas rok kar aur bade masail khade kar dete jiska natija aaj se bahut alag hota, Us ghar ke fard ne jab mujhse ye waqiya bayaan kiya to maine kaha ke "wo mayke waale samajhdar the, unhone tumhara ghar basa diya"

Waqai aisa hai ke us mayke waalo ne ladki ka ghar basane mein apna kirdaar ada kiya, Aaj ka koi hota to aise mein kya karta? Ladke par case karne ki baatein hoti, Panchayatein hoti, Logon ko bula kar apne niji muamlaat mein hakim banaya jaata aur baat ko badhane waale hi kaam kiye jaate, Maine dekha hai ke aise muamlaat mein ab ladkiya khud kehti hain ke tum par case kar doongi aur tumhare ghar waalo samet tum sab ko andar karwa dungi aur afsos sad afsos ke mayke waalo ka is mein bahut bada haath hota hai, Mayke waale use shah dete hain ke tum aisa karo aur waisa karo aur phir ek ladki wahi karti hai jo uske mayke waale kehte hain aur unke muqable mein apne shauhar aur sasuraal waalo ki ek tak nahin sunti, Ye baatein ghar ujaad kar rakh deti hain aur sukoon ko tabaah kar deti hain

Dusra waqiya:

Isi tarah ek ladki ki shadi hui aur shadi ke baad thode masail hone lage, Shauhar ne biwi par haath utha diya aur ye koi zulm nahin tha, Aaj kal baat baat par zulm lafz ka istemal karne waale thoda hosh se kaam lein aur ladki ke saath sasuraal mein hone waale har kaam ko zulm se tabeer na karein, ye bahut na insafi waali baat hai, Zulm ek alag shay hai aur musibato ka aana ek alag baat Zulm bahut bada lafz hai lihaza soch samajh lein ke aap kis baat ko zulm aur kis shakhs ko zalim qarar de rahe hain

Wo ladki apne mayke bhaag aai, Jab wo mayke pahunchi to uska bhai khana kha raha tha, Behan ne jab aap beeti batai to bhai ne khana beech mein hi chhod diya aur usi haalat mein kaha ke mere saath chalo, Ghar mein kisi ne kaha ke khana to poora kha lo lekin wo bhai bhi aaj ke bhaiyo ki tarah filmi nahin tha balki muashre ko samajhne waala tha aur fauran usne apni behan ko liya aur sasuraal wapas chhod kar aaya Phir baad mein kya hona tha, Sab sahih ho gaya, Halaat waqt ka taqaza kar rahe the, Masail waqti the, Wo chale gaye aazma kar, Phir sab theek ho gaya aur aaj sab ek saath hain aur "Ab arthi hi uthegi"

Aaj ka koi bhai hota to behan ko is tarah dekh kar kya karta? Wo fauran ye dekhta ke kis tarah sasuraal waalo se badla liya jaaye aur sabaq sikhaya jaaye, Ye baatein maine, aapne sab ne dekhi hain jin ka inkar nahin kiya ja sakta, Aaj

kal yahi ho raha hai ke mayke waale fauran garam ho jaate
hain aur muamlaat ko bahut zyada bigaad dete hain

In dono ki tarah aur bahut se waqiyaat hain jinse ye bilkul saaf maloom hota hai ke pehle mayke waale jazbaat mein aa kar masail ko badhane ka aur ghar ujadne ka kaam nahin karte the balki ise bahut mayoob samjha jaata tha ke ek ladki shadi ke baad sasuraal se wapas aa jaaye aur apne mayke mein rehne lage lekin aaj kal shadi se pehle hi kai log ye tak kehte hain ke agar ladka nikamma nikla ya humari beti alag bhi rahegi to itna padha likha diya hai ke wo khud kama kha legi, Aisi soch ki wajah se muamlaat bahut zyada bigad jaate hain

Mayke se rabta: Ek bada khatra

Main ye nahin kehta ke ek ladki shadi ke baad apne mayke waalo se rishta hi tod le aur unse baat cheet na kare lekin aaj kal jo ho raha hai wo sahih nahin hai Pehle rabte ke itne tez zaraaye (fast means of communication) nahin the to khabrein idhar udhar kam hua karti thi kyunki rabte mein kaafi waqt lagta tha, Misaal ke taur par ek ladki agar pehle zamane mein apne mayke waalo ko kuchh batana chahti to kya karti? Shayad khat likhti lekin us waqt ladkiya aaj ki tarah itni padhi likhi nahin hoti thi, bahut kam ladkiya hi aisa kar sakti thi ke khat likh kar paigham bhejein phir agar bhej bhi deti to uske pahunchne aur jawab aane tak mumkin tha ke mas'ala hi hal ho jaaye,

Ek soorat ye ho sakti thi ke ladki kisi se paigham bhijwaye to is mein bhi waqt lagta aur agar mayka qareeb hota to khud bhi ja kar bata sakti thi lekin ye bhi kaafi kam hota tha kyunki main bata chuka ke pehle zehniyat alag thi aur unhein pata tha ke ye masail humein hal karne hain aur sabro tahammul ka daaman thaame rakhna hai

Ab rabta karna itna aasan ho chuka hai aur sab kuchh itni jaldi ho jaata hai ke loha garam hote hi hathauda pad jaata hai, Abhi agar ek ladki ke saath koi chhota mota muamla bhi pesh aaya ke jise aaram se miyan biwi mil baith kar ya thoda sabr kar ke aasani se hal kar sakte the, wo bhi bahut bada ban jaata hai aur wo is tarah ke ladki har waqt apne mayke se judi rehti hai aur pal pal ki khabrein batati rehti hai ke aaj ye hua, kal wo hua waghaira aur isse mayke waalo ke nazdeek ladke aur ladke ke ghar waalo ki ek manfi tasweer ban jaati aur phir achhi baatein bhi buri maloom hoti hain

Jab kisi ke liye manfi (negative) nazariya ban jaata hai to uska hunar bhi aib nazar aane lagta hai aur aisi baatein jinko darguzar kiya ja sakta tha unko bhi daleel bana kar masail khade kar diye jaate hain

Jab ladki fauran wo baat apne mayke waalo tak pahuncha deti hai to agarche us baat ka sasuraal mein wujood baaqi na rahe magar zehno mein naqsh ho jaata hai, ye chhoti chhoti baatein jo waqt ke saath khud ba khud chali jaati unhein mahfooz balki qaid kar liya jaata hai aur apne pairo par khud

kulhadi maarne ka kaam kiya jaata hai

Shadi ke baad ladki ko chahiye ke apne shauhar aur apne sasuraal waalo ki khidmat kare aur us ghar ke rehan sehan ke mutabiq khud ko dhaale, Apne mayke waalo ko bhi pareshan na kare aur jo bhi masail pesh aayein un par sabr kare, Insha Allah wo masail waqt ke saath hal ho jayenge, Mushkil halaat chale hi jaate hain lekin us mein besabri ka muzahira deeni wa dunyawi nuqsanaat ki wajah banta hai

Ek tehreer maine isi talluq se likhi thi jiska unwaan (title) tha "Mayke se padhai aur natije mein talaq, use main yahan naqal kar raha hoon:

Mayke se padhai, natije mein talaq

Social media par ye jumla kaafi dekhne ko milta hai ke jo ladkiya shadi ke baad mayke se padhai karti hain unko natije (result) mein talaq ki degree milti hai

Ye baat sahih hai ke agar ek ladki shadi ke baad apne sasuraal mein apne shauhar aur apne sasuraal waale jo ke uske ghar waale hain, unke mutabiq khud ko dhaal kar chalne ke bajaye apne mayke waalo se padhegi yaani wo jo kahenge use apne liye harfe aakhir samjhegi aur sasuraal waalo se mukhalifat karegi aur unhein dushman jaanegi to phir masail hi masail honge

Yahan hota ye hai ke ladki ke mayke waale un halaat aur un tamam baato ko nahin jaante jo sasuraal mein hoti hain ya miyan biwi ke darmiyan ki hoti hain agarche unhein kaafi tafseel se bata bhi diya jaaye phir bhi wo tasweer ka ek rukh bhi sahih se dekh nahin paate aur aise mashware dete hain jo mazeed masail ko badha dete hain, humare paas is tarah ke masail par likhne ke liye guzarishaat aati rehti hain aur kai muamlaat humari aankho ke saamne hain jinhein humne qareeb se dekha hai Jahan miyan biwi ko mil kar apna ghar sambhalna chahiye tha wahan kisi teesre ka dakhal muamla bigaad deta hai Miyan biwi ke darmiyan na ittefaqi badhane aur in mein judai daalne waalo par hadees mein lanat aai hai aur yahan yahi ho raha hota hai lihaza mayke waalo ko khoob ghaur karna chahiye ke wo kahin is lanat ke mustahiq to nahin ho rahe?

Aurato ko chahiye ke ita'at karein aur mukhalifat karne
ko apna mashghala na banayein, shike shikayato ko humesha
zubaan par rakhne se parhez karein, sabr aur tahammul ke
saath apne shauhar ke liye sukoon ka baais banein warna
aapki nashukri aapke paas maujood nemato ke zawaal ka
sabab ban sakti hain

Akhbaro mein chhapne waali ek report

Hindustan ke ek shehar mein akhbaro mein ek report chhapi gai jiska unwaan tha "Mayke ke dakhal se nahin ban pa rahe ladkiyo ke apne ghar" aur iske tehat likha gaya ke mobile phone se pati patni ke beech rishte bigad rahe hain, Tezi se aisa ho raha hai, Mayke se zyada baat karne ki wajah se ladki beech mein phansi hui hai, Aise muamlaat (ek shehar mein) hazaaro ki tadaad mein ho rahe hain, Shadi ke baad bhi mayke waale kuchh zyada hi rabte mein rehte hain, Kai kai martaba baatein hoti hain, Lambi baatein hoti rehti hain, Pati aur sasuraal ki har baat ko apne mayke waalo se share karti hain, Us shehar ke court mein 50% se zyada muamle sirf mayke ke barabar dakhal dene ki wajah se aaye the

Report mein likha tha ke mayke waalo ke dakhal ki wajah se wo pehle hi din se apne sasuraal waalo ko alag nigah se dekhti hai, Mayke se jaisa kaha jaata hai wo waisa hi karti hai aur hazaaro ghar basne se pehle hi ujad jaate hain, In muamlo mein counsellor ka kirdaar bhi kuchh faida nahin de raha hai

Is report par tabsira

Muashre ke halaat par nazar rakhne waale iska inkar nahin karenge ke is report mein bayaan ki gai baatein haqeeqat se talluq rakhti hain, Aisa kasrat se ho raha hai aur ye 50% kam hi bataya gaya hai warna muamlaat isse bhi zyada hain

Mayke waale nahin samajhte ke asal mein ladki ke sasuraal ke halaat kya hain aur sirf ladki ki baato ko sun kar wahan se hukm dena shuru kar dete hain ke tum aisa karo aur waisa karo phir jab wo ladki mayke waalo ki baat (jo ke ladkiyo ke liye patthar ki lakeer hoti hai, us) par amal karti hai aur apne shauhar aur sasuraal waalo ki mukhalifat karti hai to muamlaat bahut zyada bigadne lagte hain aur baat talaq tak pahunch jaati hai!

Ladki ke saath maar peet

Aaj kal ladkiyo ke saath maar peet to hoti hi nahin, Pehle to sasuraal mein ladkiya aisi aisi baato par itna maar khaati thi ke agar aaj waisa hone lage to ladkiya aur unke mayke waale darjano muqaddime darj karwa denge magar pehle ki ladkiya ise apne liye tambeeh samajhti aur khud ki islah aur behtari par tawajjo deti aur in sab ko apni zindagi ke masail ka hissa samajhti aur iski wajah se ghar ko ujaad dene aur rishta todne ka kabhi na sochti

Aaj kal ladkiyo ko itna padha likha diya gaya ke wo bajaye ghar mein sabr karne aur ghar ko jod kar rakhne ke Domestic violence act aur phir Dowry act waghaira ke tehat sab ko qaid karwa degi, Kisi ne is tarah ghaliban kya khoob baat kahi thi:

Wo andhera hi bhala tha ke qadam raah par the
Raushni laai hai manzil se bahut door humein

Maar peet ka matlab bhi ladkiyo ko aur unke mayke waalo ko nahin pata ke maar peet aakhir kise kehte hain, Maine dekha hai ke auratein kis tarah gharo mein maar kha kar rehti thi, Lad leti jhagad leti lekin ghar se baahar qadam na rakhti magar abhi halaat bahut naazuk hain

Ladki ko aaram pasand banana

Mayke waalo ki ek badi ghalati daure haazir mein ye hai ke wo ladki ko aaram pasand banate hain, Bachpan se hi use bahut zyada laad pyaar se paalte hain aur ghar ke kaam seekhane ki umr mein school college mein waqt barbad karwate hain, Aisi ladki gharelu kaam se koi khaas waqifiyat nahin rakhti aur school college ki taleem uska zehan kisi aur taraf le jaati hai aur uske andar se haya ko kam kar deti hai aur kabhi to baahar hi nikaal deti hai

Pehle to aaram pasand bana dete hain phir jab wo sasuraal jaati hai to wahan bhi mehnat karne se mana karte hain aur aisa zehan dete hain ke tum pehle apna aaram dekhna uske baad kuchh karna aur ye sab mat karna aur wo sab mat karna aur ye tumhari zimmedari nahin balki fulaan ki hai aur is tarah ki kai baatein kahi jaati hain ke ladki apne sasuraal waalo ko apna wo dushman samajh leti hai ke jo use qaid mein rakhna chahte hain aur isse faida uthana chahte hain halanki aisa nahin hota

Main ye kehta hoon ke apna aaram qurban kar ke dusro ko aaram pahunchana hi aurat ka maqsad hona chahiye, Faqat apne liye jeena bhi kaisa jeena hai, Ek mard agar aisi soch bana le to phir kya hoga? Jo din raat mehnat kar ke apne biwi bachho ko har qism ka aaram muhayya karte hain, wo bhi apna aaram dekhna shuru kar dein to phir dusro ko aaram kaise milega? Rishte aise nahin nibhaye jaate ke apne aaram ko hi sab kuchh samjha jaaye balki qurbaniya deni padti hain

Humare mufakkir Ulama ne bhi isse mana kiya hai ke aurato ko aaram pasand banaya jaaye, Iski tafseel main apne risale "Shadi kis ladki se karein?" mein bayaan karunga (Insha Allah)

Damaad koi naukar nahin hai

Damaad ko mayke waale ye na samjhein ke wo ek naukar hai jo aapki aur aapki beti ki khidmat mein hi laga rahe aur koi baat na kahe bas aap jo kahein wo usi ke mutabiq humesha amal kare, Ye sarasar zyadati hai, Damaad aapse zyada ab us ladki pe haq rakhta hai jo aapki beti hai aur ab use faisle karne ka haq hai jiski itaa'at uski biwi par yaani aapki beti par bhi laazim hai lihaza aise mein dakhal andazi karna bilkul durust nahin hai

Pehle damaad ko palko par bithaya jaata tha aur is baat ka khaas khayaal rakha jaata tha ke "Damaad babu" ko koi baat buri na lag jaaye lekin aaj na ladki ke andar apne hakim ki wo haibat hai, na uska adab hai aur na uske mayke waalo ko koi khaas parwah Damaad ko kuchh bhi kehne mein ab socha nahin jaata balki fauran keh diya jaata hai, Ladki ko thodi si takleef ho gai to hi mayke waale harkat mein aa jaate hain aur damaad ke upar dabaao daalna shuru kar dete hain

Ye tak dekha ja raha hai ke ab kuchh mayke waale apne damaad se uski kamai tak ka hisab lete hain! Kuchh mayke waale damaad ko humesha nicha dikhane ki koshish karte hain aur use is baat ka ehsaas dilate hain ke wo unki ladki ko achhi tarah nahin rakh raha hai aur ladki ka zehan bhi aisa bana dete hain ke wo bhi apne shauhar ke moonh par use ye baatein keh deti hai

Ek aur report

Ek aalime deen jo halaate haazira par gehri nazar rakhte hain aur mutala bhi wasee hai unhone humein ye bataya ke aaj kal jo miya biwi ke muamlaat ho rahe hain aur ye talaq waghaira, in mein 90% feesad isliye ho rahe hain ke mayke waale ladki ki zindagi mein bahut zyada dakhal andazi karte hain, Ho sakta hai ye jaan kar aapko hairat ho lekin mujhe zyada nahin hui kyunki maine is haqeeqat ko saamne se dekha hai

Main bhi chahta hoon ke kaash ye haqeeqat na hoti aur mujhe aisa likhna nahin padta, Kaash mayke waale aisa na karte aur itne ghar barbaad na hote, Kaash...

Agar aap bhi is tarah ke muamlaat ka jaaiza lena shuru karenge to ye haqeeqat aap par bhi zaroor aashkar ho jayegi

Dehaat aur shehar

Pehle zyada tar ilaqe dehaat hi kehlaya karte the, Aaj un mein bahut se shehar ban chuke hain, Kuchh log kehte hain ke ab dehaat bacha kahan hai, Har ilaqa to taraqqi kar raha hai aur jinhein hum dehaat kehte the wo shehro ko pichhe chhod rahe hain, Ye baat to theek hai ke dehaat bhi ab dehaat nahin raha lekin bahut se ilaqe aaj bhi aise hain ke wo dehaat hain

Dehaat mein rasmo riwaj shehro se zyada hote hain, Jise hum adab, bade chhote ki tameez, sharm aur apnapan kehte hain wo shehro se zyada dehaato mein paaya jaata hai Shehar mein ladkiya jahan aaram pasand ban rahi hain aur mardo se muqabla karne ke liye har maidan mein aa rahi hain wahin dehaato mein aaj bhi ladkiyo ko unke asal maqsad ko dekhte hue tarbiyat di ja rahi hai

Shehar ki auratein apne aur apne shauhar ke liye sahih se khana hi nahin bana paati jabki dehati auratein na sirf apne ghar balki agar ghar mein kai kai mehmaan aa jaayein to bhi

akele sab ke liye khana paka kar dusre kaamo ko bhi nipta
liya karti hain
Aaj to haal ye hai ke 10-20 logon ki dawat ho to khana
banane waalo aur bartan dhone waalo ko bulana padta hai

Aisa nahin hai ke dehaat ki auratein kisi aur dunya se aai hain lekin wo mehnati isliye hain ke unhein shuru se hi mehnati banaya gaya hai, Shehar ki aurato ko bahut zyada sahuliyaat aur aaram de kar aisa bana diya jaata hai ke bachhe sambhalna bhi uske liye mushkil se mushkil ho jaata hai, Jahan dehaat ki ladkiya ek waqt mein kai kai bachho ko paal kar jawan kar deti hain aur ghar ka kaam bhi karti hain wahin dusri taraf shehar ki ladkiya ek bachhe mein hi pareshan ho jaati hain

Pehle shehar ke log dehaato mein apne bachho ko bhejte the taaki wo tehzeeb seekhein aur shehro mein dehaato ki tareefein hoti thi lekin ab shehar waalo ko ye sab purani baatein, qaid aur jahilana tariqa maloom hota hai aur maghrib ki pairwi, aazadi aur behayai achhi maloom padti hai Main agarche kai shehro mein raha lekin jo baatein dehaato mein aaj bhi paai jaati hain, wo shehar waale bhool kar nuqsan utha rahe hain

Khulasa aur paigham

Is mukhtasar se bayaan ka khulasa ye hai ke mayke waalo ko beti damaad ki zindagi mein bejaa ki dakhal andazi se bachna chahiye, Mayke waale agarche beti ka bhala chahte hain lekin iske liye wo ghalat tariqa apna lete hain ke jisse beti ka ghar hi ujad jaata hai, khudara khauf karein aur is tarah zindagiyo ke saath na khelein balki haqeeqi khair ko talash karein

Ladkiyo ko bhi chahiye ke sasuraal ki ek ek baat mayke mein batane se parhez karein, Isse bahut zyada muamlaat bigadte hain, Aur apne shauhar ki ita'at ko apne upar lazim kar lein, Ye tariqa bilkul sahih nahin ke mayke waalo ki baatein suni jaayein aur unke muqable mein baaqi sab ansuna kar diya jaaye, Shauhar hakim hota hai aur uske hukm ko khule aam radd kar ke faqat apne mayke waalo ki padhai gai baato ko harfe aakhir samajhna asal mein apne pair par kulhadi maarne jaisa hai

Mayke waalo se muhabbat ka inkar bhala kaun kar sakta hai lekin iska ye matlab hargiz nahin ke ise samne rakh kar baaqi sab faramosh kar diya jaaye, Ek aurat ke liye uske mayke waalo ki muhabbat se bahut aham cheezein bhi maujood hain ke jin mein laparwahi uski aakhirat ki tabahi ka sabab ban sakti hai lihaza khoob ghaur kar lein aur faqat jazbaat mein aa kar faisle na lein

Ye baatein kisi se zaati dushmani ki wajah se nahin likhi gai hain, Mera maqsad qaum mein badh rahe aise sangeen muamlaat ki islah hai ke jiski wajah se na jaane kitne ghar tabah ho rahe hain, Kitne dil toot rahe hain, Kitne hi log gham mein is qadr doob rahe hain ke apni zindagi tak zaaya kar rahe hain! Itne aham mas'ale par likhne ka maqsad sirf iski islah hai

Allah Ta'ala meri qaum ki aurato aur unke mayke waalo
ko samajhne ki taufiq ata farmaye aur hum sab par apni
rahmato aur barkato ko naazil kare

Abde Mustafa
Muhammad Sabir Qadri